We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
