it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
