I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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