so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
