I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
