32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
