You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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