I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
dude. I can hear the air.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
