This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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