something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
