She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
