just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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