Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
