I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
