In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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