Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
