then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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