my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
