I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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