he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
