If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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