dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
