Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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