lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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