Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
