Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
