we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
