don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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