haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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