Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
