cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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