he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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