Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I woke up under a house in Key West
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
