Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
