I want to make a zoo with you.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize