I hate all girls vehemently.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
