is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
