Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
