i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize