the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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