She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
