Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
