You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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