Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
