In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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