I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize