your thong is hanging out like whoa
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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