She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
