Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
