...so i touched it.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
