no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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