Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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