just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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