I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
