I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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