i think my mom watched the whole time
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
