this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I could make wine with my vomit
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize