I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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