Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
NoShamevember. You game?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
