I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
