he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
