I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
