You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
